Sometimes I think people in general have forgotten how to laugh. With all the ills of the world seeming to get worse by the day, I am pulled into sad regurgitations of bad news on a regular basis, most of which end with the universal “what is this world coming to? If we are to bear up long enough to see the answer to that question, a little humor might be helpful.
April is National Humor Month, a designation created by comedian Larry Wilde, founder of an organization also called National Humor Month, which promotes humor as a necessary and therapeutic element of quality living. April Fool’s Day launched the month-long emphasis on laughter.
To lift your spirits perhaps and to promote general well-being, I offer you free one-liners from the website. (I cannot endorse the entire website since I have not read all the jokes, but the classroom resources and humor activities look helpful.)
• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger; then it hit me.
• Police were called to a day care where a 3-year-old was resisting a rest.
• The biggest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
• To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
• Did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar and got 12 months?
• A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement and became a hardened criminal.
• The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
• If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
• A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
• A will is a dead giveaway.
• If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
• A lot of money is tainted: ‘T’aint yours, and ‘t’aint mine.
• A boiled egg is hard to beat.
• He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
• Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
• Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
• Acupuncture: a jab well done.
One of the funniest ministers that I ever heard speak is the Rev. Charles Simpson from Mobile, Alabama. His collection of funny stories and jokes from his long career in ministry is “Take Your Hat Off, Son!” published by Evergreen Press in 2001. Here is a sampling:
“One person said to his pastor, ‘Pastor, your words are like water to a drowning man.’ ”
“Another person said to his pastor, ‘Reverend, each one of your sermons is better than the next.’ ”
“There’s a story about a rural pastor who proposed to his church that they buy a chandelier. One of the church members objected because he said, ‘There are three reasons: one, we don’t have enough money; two, nobody can play it; and three, what this church really needs is lights.’ ”
“Another little boy was asked about Lot, Abraham’s nephew in the Bible. He said that Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day and pillar of fire by night. It might have been the same little boy who was asked ‘Who was sorry when the prodigal returned home?’ He replied, ‘the fatted calf.’ ”
“Several years back they discovered the Dead Sea Scrolls. A little boy overheard his parents talking about it and he said, ‘I sure hope they didn’t find any more commandments.’ ”
My 8-year-old grandson told me a joke this past weekend. “Grandma,” he said, “do you know why eggs don’t tell jokes?” I told him I could not imagine why. He answered, “Because they would crack themselves up!”
I hope we all find things to laugh about this month. The health benefits are great, and some humor will go a long way in digesting bad news.